Hi I require some rewriting to be completed and not sure how many words this wold require. I am happy with the piece and i have attached some tutor feedback for you concideration.
Thank you for your draft and it’s great to see you have made a lot of progress. Please find several observations and suggestions to improve your work below:
1. Try to cite more frequently throughout. You do embed several sources although further citations could be integrated.
2. The main feedback is that there is quite a lot of description. Try to analyse as much as you can and apply the theory you introduce. You could demonstrate more criticality here. This is the main area to work on.